While a part of me has certainly come to understand where they were coming from when they arrived at that old cliche that says “ignorance is bliss”, I’m still not so convinced that they had it right.
Sure there are moments when I yearn for that ignorant bliss…
…when I’m supposed to be just brushing my teeth in the morning but then realize that I have been contemplating my place in the multiverse and the ways in which I can live in accordance with that role while remaining in contact with my family.. but who are these strangers that I call my friends… as I am brushing fucking my teeth.
…when I’m at a baseball game and I can’t even watch the game because I’m too busy thinking about how silly and cute us humans are to have orchestrated such a grand event that we all take so seriously even though it’s really quite trivial… but not so trivial because nothing is trivial or is everything trivial… oh fuck I’m going to die some day.. but are my chakras aligned right now?
These are the moments in which I find myself yearning to just shut it off. Because how nice would it be to just brush my fucking teeth for a change? I also see the ways in which there is clearly something problematic about living in a state of such overwhelming awareness. And if I were to speak to a psychologist about this, they would surely diagnose me with ADD or anxiety or some shit and put me on valium. Because radical awareness is a bit of a disorder. And it does have a way of taking you out of life. It makes you a witness to the moment rather than a participant. But, I’ve got to wonder if being ignorant to it all really allows us to exist in the moment any better. Because even if we’re not contemplating the meaning of life while carousing the cereal aisle, are we not finding some other shit to worry about that has no relevance whatsoever to carousing the cereal aisle?
Hey! I haven’t had Cookie Crisp since ‘99.. maybe I’ll just go for it and bring home some cookie crisp… why the fuck have you not called me yet today.. did that bitch seriously just speak to her child like that? A dime!
The point is… will we not always find ways to not fully participate in that which we’re physically doing? And is the despair that I experience during my moments of feeling like I’ve taken some kind of crazy pill that makes me painfully and utterly aware of it all any more extreme than the despair one might experience while wondering why he hasn’t fucking called? Maybe the complexity of the train of non-present thoughts doesn’t influence the level of disparity all that much… because like a dream, It always feels like the most important thing in the world when you’re in it.
And if it came down to it… man! There’s no way in hell that I would choose to unknow all the crazy shit I know as a result of my compulsive philosophizing and picking apart of the human condition. I’ve come so far! So maybe the bliss isn’t to be found in ignorance, but rather in finding a way in which to exist in both realms at once… a way to watch the drama unfold and yet simultaneously be participating in the drama fully. Do the two have to be mutually exclusive?
Even further… is there really ever a way to possibly not be in the moment? Because even if I’m daydreaming… I am still inthe moment, in that moment of daydream. Maybe the Zen Buddhists had it right with their be here now philosophy. Perhaps bliss really is to be found in realizing that you couldn’t possibly be not in the moment. And so… it is less about finding a way to be in the moment (through the erasure of this never ending flow of thoughts) and more about reazlizing that you’re always already here.
Maybe silencing the flow isn’t where it’s at. Maybe ignorance isn’t all they chalked it up to be.
Look. All I’m saying is… of course life would be easier if I didn’t know magic was real! Do you know the weight of trying to deal with that shit? But then I wouldn’t know about magic… and are you kidding me? Magic is fucking amazing!
- via: http://ifeellikeimtakingcrazypills.tumblr.com/page/2
